Some things are perfect just the way they are, but change is inevitable, and often arises from a sense of injustice, dissatisfaction or a deep rooted feeling that things could be better. Do you know what it feels like to conquer fears and judgements, face opposing views, and be the change you want to see in the world? This month Dear Aphrodite explores some women that changed the world and the resistance, both personal and public, that they faced while achieving their goals. The highlight of our month has been meeting one of Dear Aphrodite's favourite influential women, the author of Sex and the City, Candace Bushnell. We also explore language and the female anatomy, and we share some of the challenges we faced that have spawned some new ideas.
Do you remember tuning into Sex and the City and thinking there is no way you could watch it comfortably with someone like your grandfather in the room? Many people who have followed Dear Aphrodites facebook page have told of the same dilemma. Nevertheless, just short of a 1000 people decided join us but many choose not to click 'like' or comment on our posts because it can't be done privately. Our stats show us that people are looking and listening but last month we were all denied access to a wealth of informative articles and tantalising graphics and quotes, when the authorities at facebook decided to delete the page without any prior warning. It took about a week of emails and phone calls in an effort to get the page reinstated, but to no avail. So we've started again from scratch. In the process Dear Aphrodite realised that due to facebook's privacy settings, we would reach a broader audience if we created a fan page, that is completely detached from the business page or website but still provides insights, fun and wisdom for the wild woman at heart, by women. If you prefer discretion and aren't already following, here are the new fan pages.
Please like the pages, add them to your news feed, feel free to contribute, share or comment without any concern for what your friends/family (and friends of their friends) might think about you or the pages you choose to follow, who's going to question the wisdom of an ancient goddess?
Breaking new ground since the 1990's is our feature goddess of the month author of Sex and the City Candace Bushnell. We were honoured to meet Candace when Business Chicks, hosted a lunch for professional women at the Palladium in Melbourne. While it was inappropriate to hand out business cards at the event, we aroused the curiosity of plenty of guests and they questioned us for more details. Candace is wise and entertaining, she will definitely be on histories list of influential women, her life is an open book, (television series and movies) and she talked about her life and the many lessons we learned from her SATC characters. Just like Madonna did in the eighties, she has had an enormous impact on the perception of females as sexy, independent and in control of their own lives. She is a feminist that celebrates women being more than just mothers, wives or their chosen careers. SATC opened up a dialogue for women that was previously considered taboo or strictly private conversations that revolved around scandalous stories or scintillating experiences. Everything and anything was discussed and can now be googled, confirmed and affirmed. Women have discovered they are not alone.
While so many things have changed, a comparison of the next two clips proves that many of the problems women face today are exactly the same as they have always been.
In the movie Hysteria set in the 1880's we learn how and why the vibrator was invented. Did you know Queen Victoria was one of the first women to own a portable one? What was once considered a disorder of the uterus, and treated by a Doctor, is now described by Kim Unami in her candid video, as 'The epidemic of sexually unfulfilled females.' See if you can spot the similarities in these two, centuries apart, stories. For a fun history lesson watching the movie is a must.
Quote to note ''I am not a sex addict I have restless groin syndrome.'' Anon.
Up until the 1950's vibrators were sold in women's magazines as a health product. Vibrators are still the highest selling sex toy in the entire world, our products page has some modern varieties.
If after comparing the two videos you are not convinced that we have come a long way, Katherine Swizter will help change your mind. Author of Marathon Woman, she shares her experiences of becoming the first woman to run in the Boston Marathon. Dear Aphrodites bows to the strength, patience and determination of this sporting pioneer of yesteryear. What was once against the law would only be outrageous now if the opposite was true.
Books, television, movies, music and even marathons have given women their voice but by far the fastest growing medium is the Internet. It has provided us with the greatest tool towards change, a free education with easy access to information. Women know more, and are demanding better. Sadly not all the information out there is reliable. Take porn for example, while it has been the motivation behind many industrial and technological advancements, like television and camcorders, it is also responsible for setting unrealistic expectations. A lot of people don't know the difference between real sex and porn sex, and given that 3/4 of people accessing porn sites are men, The New York Production Company were clearly doing women a favour when they released this very creative myth vs reality video.
How do you like your pancakes?
Dear Aphrodite is also delighted to share a new article published by Australian Women Online titled,
Aussie Mums open male escort agency catering exclusively to women. It discusses how and why Melbourne's premier male escort service for professional women was created and it also details some of the hiring processes the gentlemen go through in order to ensure the highest quality standards. Dear Aphrodite loved the comments that it generated too. One was a glowing testimonial and another expressed frustration about prices as well as the service being marketed only to 'professional women rather than the average woman.' While Dear Aphrodite believes that 'average' woman deserves special treatment, she isn't interested in average guys. That would be like asking for a fast food menu in a fine dining restaurant. Dear Aphrodite has met working women who make a fortune perfecting the art of speedy service for men, their needs are very different to ours. Dear Aphrodite's companions are Michelin quality. Eating A la carte every night might be too expensive, luckily there are low peak rates available, but treating yourself every so often is well worth every cent.
The biggest news since the article was published is that Aphrodisiac Male Escorts have also embraced change and expanded services to include women in Sydney as well as Melbourne. You can go to the website and check out Zac's profile under the companions tab, he is a true romantic and his audio tape is also accessible once you log in. His flirtatious accent is worth a listen and we hope it makes you smile too. Dear Aphrodite's most scrupulous volunteer has requested to be notified if he happens to be travelling to Melbourne again, he's that good.
While scholars will never agree on the origins of the 'C' word, Dear Aphrodite likes the idea that it once related solely to femininity and the 'wisdom of women, in particular the wisdom of her genitals.' How would you feel if someone called you a cunt...? How about a wise cunt? Learning about the etymology of words that describe female organs has made Dear Aphrodite decide to add fecund, and other 'cu' words like cunning to her vocabulary more often. Words are neither good, bad or indifferent only peoples perceptions and use of them are. Cunt is still the only word in the English language that describes all the parts of female genitalia. In parts of Scandinavia the word for Labia is 'skamlæber' which directly translates to 'shame lips.' Is it any wonder that women in Denmark are pushing for it to be changed to 'kønlæber' which translates to the shameless 'gender lips.'
Finally Dear Aphrodite's favourite quote of the month is taken direct from Candace Bushnell's talk on July 24th in Melbourne.
"I realised that the concept of when you're with Mr Big; you feel smarter, funnier and prettier and more glamorous and sexier and...you know, all those things that we all want to feel everyday. But I realised that the thing that's really wrong is that I only feel these things when I'm with Mr Big. And... I really should be able to feel these things on my own. Whether or not I'm with a man, whether I'm single or I'm married and that is something that you have to develop from the inside....and then I realised that... I didn't want to be with Mr Big...I actually wanted to be Mr Big!!" Candace BushnellFrankly, Dear Aphrodite never understood why Carrie married Mr Big in the end, that type of passion is usually fleeting, but with the right guy it's fun to pretend. Women need to stop judging their self worth on whether they are good enough for the object of their affection. It's always been and should always remain the other way around.
Next month we continue to celebrate influential women, delve into the psyche of emotional and physical attraction, and why an industry, that has predominately catered to the needs of men, has to be done differently to cater for many varying needs of women from every walk of life.