Saying 'No' can be the Ultimate Act of Self- care.

When you have hired a glorious male escort, how could it be an act of empowerment to then say “no?” For Nicole in Melbourne, our second blog contest winner, the answer was clear. After six years of no sex, and little even in the way of physical touch, she honored the inner voice telling her to slow down. Of course our gentleman was able to unconditionally respect her wishes and boundaries, which ultimately led to the encounter(s) of a lifetime… 

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I can’t tell you what finally prompted me to enter ‘Male Escorts Melbourne’ into a Google search late one night, but suffice to say there was wine involved. 

I’m a professional single woman in my early 30’s (*cough* okay, I’m 40) living in inner city Melbourne. In my actual early 30s, I decided after a borderline traumatic experience that I wasn’t going to have sex with a guy again unless I knew him, had spent time with him, and I liked him (i.e. no more one-nighters with assholes). Fast forward 6 years later and no sex. No kissing. No touching. Nothing. Turns out the ‘having standards’ thing was a really bad idea. 

Over the years, I completely gave up, shut down that part of me and never really thought about sex or men. There might have been nice men around, but I wouldn’t have even seen them. I’ve had some bad ideas in my time, (including a cringe worthy incident involving a guy and his fetish for pool toys) however contacting the ladies at Aphrodisiac Male Escorts was certainly one of my better ideas! 

When the big day arrived, I had been waxed, shaved, scrubbed, painted, plucked and moisturised to within an inch of my life. At least I’d feel a little confidence in being well groomed if nothing else! I’d booked a room at a hotel in the city for the occasion. When we made it upstairs, nervous doesn’t begin to describe how I felt. Sitting on the edge of the bed he reached his hand over to gently rub my back and I flinched. Hard. Not like a small one you might not notice, it was practically a jump. I physically recoiled from this beautiful man, simply because I had barely been touched by another human being in over 6 years and I was not at all used to it. 

I relaxed enough after a little while to begin to enjoy the closeness of being in his arms, his warm body pressed against mine. The divine smell of his neck and being held and kissed. That I could enjoy this with a man I’d just met was a minor miracle, though he was very sweet, so that certainly made it easier to feel comfortable. We were kissing on the bed, wrapped in each other’s arms and he started to run his hand up my thigh. I freaked out!! That was way too much for me at that point even though having sex was 100% my intention when I made the booking. I stopped his hand, said no, and we returned to kissing. 

The significance for me in that moment was huge. For the first time ever I refused to do something I wasn’t comfortable doing because I didn’t want to. I have a pretty bad history of engaging in some unpleasant (for me) pleasing activities (for him). The old ‘pre-therapy’ me would have had sex regardless of how I felt because if I please him he might like me, and surely that must mean I’m something good... right? To show myself and my feelings that level of respect finally, was one of the kindest things I’d done for myself up until that point. We were not intimate that evening. Actually I take that back. We did not have sex, but it certainly felt very intimate for me. The next time however… well, that’s between him and I! 

I’ve seen him 6 or 7 times now and for the first time in a long time, I feel so completely alive. Physically, spiritually, in every way possible. I feel completely free of the colossal amount of emotional baggage I’d been dragging around with me for the better part of a decade. I feel open and excited about what is coming next, and about all of the naughty things I now want to try and experience. I also feel incredibly feminine, beautiful and sexy! It’s in no small part to the understanding, patience, acceptance and gorgeous passion this man has shown me. My friends and family have noticed the change in me, so to a select few he is my mysterious Mr X! And I love having my little secret too! To feel strong enough, and safe enough to be extremely vulnerable is incredibly liberating and I’m very thankful. 

Now I’m not suggesting that everyone will have such a transforming experience, but the point is you owe it to yourself to find out what exciting, erotic or deeply passionate encounter could be in store for you! If you’re reading this you are more than likely curious. 

Summon up the courage and give yourself the best gift you’ve ever received. I can promise you one thing – you will discover something about yourself one way or another that you thought you’d lost long ago, or maybe never even realised was in you. And surely that’s an amazing thing!                                                   

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The competition may be over but your stories are always welcome. If you want to share one with us please send an email to info@sageforwomen.com.   You can send us an email or call 
1300 132 855 anytime if you are ready to create your own story too.  

To find out more about Winston and our other gentleman visit our website Aphrodisiac male escorts

You can find us on facebook too. 

Dear Aphrodite - For the wild woman at heart.

Passions of Aphrodite – Fan Page, not linked to the business. Safe to share amongst your friends. 

A Night to be Anticipated, Savoured and Remembered.

Dear Aphrodite would like to thank each and everyone of you who took the time to submit an entry for our writing contest in April.

To say we are chuffed and humbled by the outpouring of love would be an understatement of huge proportions! We were inundated with so many entries; all creative, authentic and even raw, that we struggled to pick just 1 winner. So... we've picked 3!

Please do enjoy the first winning entry by Catherine, Melbourne: 

                                     _________________________

Have you ever felt that exhilarating terrifying anticipation as a rollercoaster hauls up the long incline before the wild ride begins? That was how I felt as I rode the lift down to the hotel foyer...

My decision to contact Aphrodisiac Male Escorts arose from a long and painful period in my life; an unhappy marriage had been followed by a cruelly broken relationship during which I had discovered the true joy of sensual love but had been left emotionally shattered. Having grieved for long enough, I took action as a declaration of independence and pride in myself, by giving myself the gift of pleasure.

My only knowledge of male escorts had come from the movie “The Wedding Date” and articles in the press. Searching, I found Aphrodisiac online. I was intrigued and tantalised by their website, offering a sophisticated and discrete service, run by women for women. The proprietors, Anna and Regina, were persuasive; assuring me any concerns I had were normal, I was confident I could enjoy myself. Under their guidance, and being truthful with them about what I wanted from the experience, I chose my companion. The business details were managed well and quickly.

A few weeks later I took a weekend in the city just for me. I waited in my hotel room for the text message saying HE had arrived downstairs…

As I read the SMS my mouth went dry, but I grabbed my room key, waited breathlessly for the lift and, having reached the ground floor, stepped out to see HIM, relaxed and leaning against the wall, telephone in hand…WINSTON.

Tipping my head up to see his face, I was surprised and captivated. He was tall and slim, described as athletic, with close-cropped dark hair, dark skin, a short beard around his jaw but no moustache, smiling dark brown eyes with long curled lashes, and a dazzling white smile in a long face with an aristocratic nose. He had a beautiful physique and he was handsome, but he looked so young I was suddenly aware of the age difference between us and caught my breath. Looking up and smiling, he said my name. “Winston,” I replied, smiling and putting out my hand. He leant forward and kissed me fleetingly on the lips. As we headed to our floor we made small talk while I fought off an urge to hurl myself at him and kiss him on the mouth.

Closing the door on the real world I kicked off my shoes and offered him a beer, which he accepted as I was having a drink too. Nervous, I sat at the table and we talked a little about our lives. Reading the situation, he stated that tonight was about me, and what I wanted. Moving his chair forward while we spoke, he picked up my feet, rested them on his thighs, and massaged my toes, which I adored. With a mischievous sparkle, he pulled my toes towards his crotch until they touched. My reaction must have told him everything. He was irresistible. I moved towards him. He pulled me into his lap. In that moment I worried about everything I perceived as wrong with my life-worn body, with its stretch marks, flab and wrinkles, but it was as if he saw none of that.

He laughed, picked me up bodily and, with my legs wrapped around his gorgeous body, we landed on the bed, him on top, kissing me furiously, his tongue everywhere. Gasping and laughing with delight I responded and I felt his erection grinding into me. Suddenly I was living out an erotic fantasy and loving every delightful second.

What followed was a time that I will never forget. This beautiful young man gave me a taste of the sensual desires I had so badly wanted. We kissed deeply, enjoying the sensations of tongues meeting and caressing. I love good french kissing! I could do that and frottage for hours and be satiated. He stood, saying “Let me get naked for you,” and pulled off his shirt revealing a hairless torso, with a subtle tattoo on his chest. His skin smelt amazing. I was intoxicated by his presence and felt a rush of excitement and joy that had been missing for too long. This man’s job was to pleasure me, and he seemed to be enjoying it as much as I.

Please excuse my not describing the more intimate details of our encounter, but I still treasure those too brief hours. We tried any number of pleasurable activities and laughed through it all. I enjoyed giving as well as receiving. Knowing I was in control, even when allowing him to take the lead, gave me courage to be truthful about my needs, which is not always possible in real life.

As my energy began to wane, he spread a towel on the bed and massaged me with warm oil. It was not a “real” massage, he said, but to me it was better. Knowing he was naked and straddling me, while working his magic on my body, was thrilling. I would happily have taken hours of that alone, but there was more…

Finally, when he was satiated, he said, “Let me have a little rest with you,” and we just caressed and talked. Always a great pleasure for me, I loved luxuriating in the afterglow, exhausted but exhilarated, and sharing secrets. How I had missed such “naked conversations.” Winston’s personal story was dramatic and fascinated me.

As our time together was coming to an end, he ushered me to the bathroom. We showered, enjoying the delicious warm scented slipperiness of our bodies, as my eyes soaked in the sight of his lithe body. He was beautiful.

Clean and dried, and finally ready for farewell, he pulled back the bedclothes and I climbed into the beautifully comfortable hotel bed in which I would sleep alone, but smiling and without regret. He then kissed me good-bye.

My time with Winston could never be the transformative sex of being in love because that develops with practice over time; but it was greatly more pleasurable than any casual one-night stand in which there may be little communication and no satisfaction. It was a gift to be anticipated, savoured and remembered, and I hope to enjoy it again. Next time I may share a meal with my companion too, because conversation is the best aphrodisiac.

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It's incredible how one single encounter, hour or even a moment in time can change our lives forever.  Dear Aphrodite loves this story and we hope you did too. Keep your eyes open for June and July's blog posts because the next two competition winning stories are delightful. 

The competition may be over but your stories are always welcome. If you want to share one with us please send an email to info@sageforwomen.com.   You can send us an email or call 
1300 132 855 anytime if you are ready to create your own story too.  

To find out more about Winston and our other gentleman visit our website Aphrodisiac male escorts

You can find us on facebook too. 

Dear Aphrodite - For the wild woman at heart.

Passions of Aphrodite – Fan Page, not linked to the business. Safe to share amongst your friends. 

A more animalistic sexual encounter.

This month's blog post is the beginning of a 3 part series brought to you by one of our very own gentleman Anthony. Check out his profile on the Aphrodisiac Male Escort website, for more info about him.

Animalistic Encounters

How do you like your sex? Soft and sensual, raw and rough, or somewhere in between?

I don't get asked for the Christian Grey experience or the Magic Mike show (thankfully)

Some definitely want light bondage, but the number of clients requesting it hasn’t risen this year, despite the release of 50 Shades back in May. 

I’m beginning to wonder whether the appearance of the medieval on our screens is providing more of a stimulant to women’s sexual desires this year. In 2015, the number of women wanting a more animalistic sexual experience as part of their booking has risen markedly. It could be coincidence, or it could be the appearance of rougher sex on TV in series like Game of Thrones and Vikings.

There’s nothing wrong with rough treatment during sex; but what is it all about?

Rough treatment by choice.

If you abuse someone verbally by calling them names and putting them down, they generally don’t like it. Even if we don’t agree with what they say, after a prolonged period of abuse we can start to internalise it and believe it. 

All of us can be beaten down by abusers, no matter how strong our sense of self. That's the power and weakness of measuring ourselves through the eyes of others. It's natural and helps us to be social creatures, but it is also damaging if we listen to others to greatly.

In a different scenario, if I don’t believe I’m worthless (and I don’t) and I ask you to abuse me, I know that I allowed it and I chose it. I hold the power in this exchange and will not internalise what you say and do to me. My sense of self may actually grow stronger, because you are doing as I ask.

Power is erotically charged. Power is an intoxicating feeling that can turn sane people mad and can fire up a sexual encounter to explosive levels, one of which ways is a rougher and more animalistic domination.

If I choose to be treated rough, either by asking you or allowing you, I know I can make it stop at any moment. That is my power. 

If you continue after being asked to stop, or you cross a boundary that we established beforehand, then we have a problem. With strength of character, those boundary crossings can be addressed and discussed openly without fear of reprisal. 

I ensure that I establish trust with my clients prior to bookings or at the beginning of them so they know I respect them and they know they won’t come to any harm. Boundary lines can either be formally discussed, or stay unstated because grown adults know what is acceptable and what is not during a sexual encounter. 

If you’re ever unsure, just ask if you can do something. Women often do. I either say yes, or I say no. It depends if it crosses one of my boundary lines.

  

Pleasure in Power.

In so many forms, sex can be a deeply pleasurable experience. When we trust our intimate partners we open up and allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to let them see us as we truly are. If they accept us in that moment of nakedness, they can do whatever they want to us because we have been deemed worthy as individuals, as human beings.

Clients with a deep distrust of male sexuality do not want to hand over this power. Yes, they want me to take control, but they are rebuilding a trust in men based on respect and male integrity. For these women, rough treatment during sex is not a show of respect and integrity, but rather it reminds them of the abuse they received previously.

(Familiarity may breed contempt, but it is also very comforting at times. If you’ve grown up being abused, you may actually like this form of treatment because it feels comforting, however painful that comfort may be.)

Women who have a general trust of men (they trust them as far as they can throw them, but do not fear their sexual intentions in the majority of situations), are more open to exploring the darker side of sexual pleasure. They know that rough treatment during sex can be pleasurable and does not by definition signal a disrespect or dehumanising from the man. They are cautious to choose the right man, but sometimes they meet a few duds and wrong ones along the way before finding a true man. That’s normally when I come in.

Image courtesy of UndisclosedDesires2

The more extreme end of sexual power and rough sex is in the BDSM community. There’s an opinion in the general public that women who enjoy receiving pain during sex are f*cked up individuals who were abused during their childhood. This is a myth. There is no data to substantiate this. In fact, women who engage in BDSM (the more dedicated version of rough sex), generally have better psychological health than people who do not. So with a deft flick of the wrist, we’re whipping that myth aside.

Animalistic experience.

As Alain de Botton says in his book, How to Think More about Sex:

“Nothing is erotic that isn’t also, with the wrong person, revolting, which is precisely what makes erotic moments so intense.”

The handing over of power for an erotically charged animalistic encounter does not happen without careful consideration. Women choose the right partner; they don’t just want any man to have control over their body. It needs to be a man they trust not to take it to a place beyond their control. They want and need a man they respect and they want a man they desire with their all their senses, particularly sight because we are a predominantly visual species.

Forbes woman

Emotional and physical violence in longer term intimate relationships has, at its heart, dominance and power. Male violence against women has everything to do with power inequalities. Only in a small number of men get pleasure from this violence without power being central to the issue. 

There are countless news articles and law reports about men (and women) using ‘rough sex’ as their defence for killing their partner. That is a discussion for another time and another article. (editors note: If you know anyone that is affected by domestic violence or sexual assault call 18007377328 or 1800RESPECT  https://www.1800respect.org.au/)

The central theme in this article is animalistic sex that is mutually desired through respect and acceptance of ourselves. Alain, the esteemed social scientist, sums it up thus:

“When we are on the receiving end of this type of violence and rudeness, we may find a parallel pleasure, and a certain sense of strength, in being able to decide for ourselves just how insulted, hurt and dominated we are going to feel… Such rudeness makes no sense from an evolutionary-biological point of view; it is only through a psychological lens that being slapped, half-strangled, tied to a bed and almost raped starts to feel like a proof of acceptance.”

And that other esteemed social commentator in society, Cosmo, shares stories from the women engaging in these acts:

"When a guy gets wild and aggressive, you lose your inhibitions because he wants you so bad. You feel like it doesn't matter if your boobs are small." --Melissa, 29

"Sex is like the movies. Sure, sometimes the slow, sweet stuff satisfies me (I call it chick-flick sex), but damn, sometimes you just need an action movie: rough and fast."--Briana, 25

"Animalistic sex can be fun because you don't care if you're sweaty and sticky, and you don't care if your clothes get torn. It's all about the sex and nothing else."--Carrie, 22

Animalistic sex can be amazing for both partners. It’s intense, it’s edgy and risqué at times. It needs to be mutual but being caught off guard by your partner doesn’t mean you don’t want it. It’s all about the respect, desire and trust that exists between you, however long you’ve known them.

Sex takes place mostly in the head; the body is where we play out these control and power games and seek sensory stimulation with an infinite number of possibilities. The animalistic is just one of many possibilities.

Whatever kind of sex you have, there is likely to be some power play at work. If the power dynamic is balanced (both people consciously or unconsciously accepting who has the power), there’s a greater chance the sex will be pleasurable for both of you.

And women, if you like it soft and sensual, that’s fine. If you like it rough and animalistic, that’s also fine. If you’re not sure… explore!

credit: A mad girl's love song

References:

Botton, Alain de 2012, How to Think More about Sex, Macmillan, London.

Karakurt, G, Cumbie, T, 2012, ‘The Relationship between Egalitarianism, Dominance, and Violence in Intimate Relationships’, Journal of Family Violence, vol.27(2), pp.115-122.

Wismeijer, Andreas A.J., Assen Marcel A.L.M. van, 2013, ‘Psychological Characteristics of BDSM Practitioners’, International Society for Sexual Medicine, Vol.10 p1943–1952.

"Women always want sex to be soft sweet, and romantic: girls like to to get down and dirty too (Myth of the Month.)"Cosmopolitan Jan. 2003: 104. General OneFile. Web 6 July 2015.

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Dear Aphrodite sends out a big smoochy thank-you to Anthony we can't wait for the next instalment. 

If you have any questions for Anthony please leave a comment below, or send an email with Dear Aphrodite in the subject line to info@sageforwomen.com

If your question is more personal and you prefer to talk to someone you can trust, give Anna and Regina a call on 

1300 132 855.  Discretion is guaranteed.

If you're looking for more check out our our Tumblr page or join one of our facebook pages to keep updated.

Dear Aphrodite - For the wild woman at heart.

Passions of Aphrodite – Fan Page, not linked to the business. Safe to share amongst your friends. 

Finally, check out the Aphrodisiac Male Escorts website for more testimonials, all of our companion's profiles, sexy 

products and a list of all our services (including fantasy island.)  

Email: info@sageforwomen.com