A New Sexual Awakening

Much has been suggested about reigniting the spark in a woman’s sex life after marriage, kids and/or divorce have had their way with us. Coaches, potions, and seminars promise to save libidos, rekindle the sexual fire, or restore a woman to herself, but what if the fire was never there to begin with? The truth is that later in life we can be presented with the opportunity to discover our authentic sexual selves, in ways that are completely new, that we may only have imagined.

'Ready or not here I come.'

How would you feel about taking a fitness class from an instructor that couldn't touch her toes, or advice about nutrition from an overweight dietitian?  Do you judge them and wish you could get your money back before you even start? Perhaps you admire them for not caring what 'everyone else' thinks? Dear Aphrodite likes to take a moment and wonder what drives them. What if the best healers really are the ones that need the most healing. 

This months blog is a personal story written by one of Aphrodisiac Male Escorts' two directors. Madam Regina presents a classic 'do as I say not as I do' story with a final twist that delves into what occurs when someone finally takes their own advice. There is something to be learned in every paragraph of this story... Dear Aphrodite presents: 

An intimate confession.

Given that I'm such a private person, I've been agonising over whether to share a very intimate part of myself. It has taken a great deal of courage to move through my fears but ultimately what tipped the scales in my decision to share, is the inner knowing that some may connect to the essence of my story. This is not easy. I'm shy about people knowing things. 

Firstly, I'm a single mum to 2 beautiful kids. I am also a business-woman, a daughter, sister, an auntie and a friend. Until earlier this year I had been celibate for the best part of a decade. Ten whole, long years. I can hear you saying "for the love of Denzel Washington...why?!" It's a great question. The answer is complex, but the main reason was to get back on my feet after a break up and to focus on raising my kids. I consciously shut off the notion of having a partner in my life. I wasn't hating on men, in fact I love them. I just didn't want to deal with having one... for the time being. 

I set out with purpose to become invisible to men.
Over time I gained weight and played myself down. I didn't notice men, and soon enough, it seemed, they stopped noticing me. This was despite the fact that I was by nature a very sexual human, at the time it felt right. 

My family and friends eventually gave up on the idea of me partnering up. I just wouldn’t hear of it. I went about life whilst working hard to heal my heart and restore balance, eventually only savouring a faint memory of past ecstasy. I have been lucky enough to experience other worldly intimacy. I knew exactly what I was missing. I had successfully tamed the wild woman in me and my for the time being rolled into years. 

About a year ago, almost 2 years into running Aphrodisiac Male Escorts, a niggling sensation awoke within me. Whist trying so hard to keep up with the responsibility of being a mum and keeping up a fulfilling yet demanding business, my contentment was slowly turning into restlessness. What once felt safe was morphing into confinement, imprisonment; I had clipped my own wings. I was running on empty. Stagnation comes to mind as I write this. 

I had lost myself. 

Hearing stories almost daily from our clients about extended periods of celibacy. A year, 2 years. 4 years, 7 years.....20 years, was a constant reminder of my own buried sense of self. I listened to their fears and uncertainties about taking a step forward, moving on, healing their heart...mending their broken wings then walked side by side with them to hear their brave stories of triumph and delight on the other side of courage. I began to feel like a fraud. I knew the ride from where I was, back to my purpose was going to be a confronting, uncertain one; and at some point felt like I had no choice. I'm sure our clients had no idea how intensely we feel their stories. Let's just say that tears have flowed more than once.

      

I couldn't live with my discomfort anymore, that dense foreboding of finding myself on the 'old' side of being a middle- aged woman. I don't have an issue with maturing. What bothered me was feeling old...that somehow, somewhere I'd lost my softness. My femininity. And as funny as it seems to say now, I felt like I was at a point of no return. The sensual womanly experiences I had so revelled in were in my distant past. Kind of in that 'If you don't use it, you lose it' style. 

Leaving the comfort zone.

I started on a path without any idea where I was heading. I still wasn't interested in a relationship or even dating for that matter. I had no intention of kissing a thousand frogs to get my needs met. The notion of online dating, weeding through profiles with no real guarantee of satisfaction was daunting to say the least. It is safe to say that I was clueless about the brave new world of dating…but I did have a good grasp on hiring a male escort...at least in theory.

I held my cards close to my chest, not sharing my thoughts with anyone not even with my childhood best friend and business partner, Anna, for fear of backing out. Over the next several months I researched other male escorts agencies and gentlemen that were working independently. This time it wasn't for a competitive edge but through the eyes and emotions of a client. 

I had a check-list of minimum requirements needing to be met so that I could feel comfortable enough to step outside my comfort zone. I required to feel safe, to be assured of confidentiality, ensure safe sex practice and to know that the escort was registered as a sex worker, for assurance of regular STI health checks. In addition, chemistry was a MUST. My demands led to disappointment. The men were either physically unappealing, some clearly didn't understand women. Some had no clue about being in the service industry and others could only be loosely referred to as ‘gentlemen’.  

Running away from home.

After months of researching, getting cold feet, feeling frustrated with myself, and then searching again, I finally decided on an independent male escort. He had that certain je ne sais quoi, his profile read well and he managed to relay his passion for women. 

I called him up for a chat and although he wasn't as polished on the phone, I pushed through and organised a 2- hour booking with him. There was no sense of excitement- it was more like "now look what you've gone and done?!" Shutting out the immense discomfort I then booked a 3 day stay in a hotel with a great balcony view of the Melbourne city skyline. My booking with, lets call him *Sam, was to take place on the last evening of my mini vacation...I hadn't had a break for 4 years... yes mamma was running away from home!

For the next 2 weeks leading up to D Day, I must have changed my mind a dozen times or so. Emotions ranged from panic to dread to excitement and back to panic. I refused to tell anyone and my internal dialogue was loud and unrelenting. Bridgette Jones had nothing on me. Every possible insecurity took it’s turn to rise to the surface. I acknowledged and ignored myself, knowing that ultimately this was my best opportunity to overcome my hiatus from whole adult life. After all I was in full control and could say 'no' at anytime…and that in the absence of chemistry, I could receive a nice massage or just simply send the male escort away.

       'The best way out is always through.' Robert Frost

It took quite a bit of manoeuvring and negotiating but I managed to organise the kids and my schedule in such a way as to avoid the world ending while I was away. I arrived at the hotel armed with scented candles, a bottle of wine, my favourite music, a book, sensual lingerie and my laptop. The room was beautiful, the view magnificent - I felt like a queen. I did not venture out of the room the entire time. I indulged in room-service and watched re-runs of Entourage. I jumped on the bed, took long long showers, napped, walked around naked and I danced. By day 2 I felt more myself than I had in a very long time. In the absence of my intense schedule and all the roles I play I still existed….how about that!?

D Day- I woke up in a panic not unlike the morning of my tandem skydive 12 years ago. Me and my brilliant ideas! "Feel the fear and do it anyway" was my mental mantra on repeat. Sam was due to arrive at 6pm. I had to keep myself occupied the entire day. Trying to read a book was pointless and so Entourage came to the rescue once again.

By 4pm I was having heart palpitations. I thought I might be having a heart attack. Inhaling; I got busy preening myself. I prepared an envelope with money for Sam and put it on the dresser. By 5.30 I was pacing. The irony was not lost on me. How many clients have we placated prior to their first booking?...Hundreds.

5.50pm I get a text from Sam that his taxi is stuck in traffic and he's running 20 minutes late. I feel sick, grateful that I only had a light lunch. More time to kill. 6.08pm my phone rings, Sam's in the lobby. I give him the room number. Wobbly knees and all, I walk to the door to meet him. 

Ready or not here I come.

I opened the door to be greeted with a warm smile, I am surprised by his overpowering presence. His photo certainly didn't do him justice. Thoughts of handing Sam the envelope and sending him away disappear. Picking up on my nerves, he took over with light conversation and accepted a glass of wine from my not-so-steady hand. I couldn’t master any level of sophistication or feign confidence. He asked me about myself. I gave him a brief overview about my celibacy, omitting the duration, and expressed that the purpose was to see if I can even attempt get back on that bike.

He took my hand and leaned in to kiss me. The rest is a blur of undulating waves of pleasure and passionate alchemy. It was intoxicating; a sensory carnival. I saw myself through Sam’s eyes and I felt beautiful. I felt sexy...and I still had it - in spades! Sam mirrored me perfectly. I ended up extending for a third hour, revelling in the feather-like touches, soft whispers, delicious kisses, breathy moans and divine injections of sublime erections. Exhaling- I am reborn. 

The erotic animation of worshipping and being worshipped is seared into my memory. 

The re-awakening - A rite of passage.

Despite being strangers, I set out to experience true intimacy and I did it. Sam seemed delightfully affected by it too. It was so liberating to take that leap across this canyon of paralysing fear and uncertainty. I can never again un-know my womanly essence. It has no expiry date. It only took me 44 years… I bloomed in secret because I guess the most beautiful things always do. 

A month later, I was still walking in suspended elation…cloud 9 and all that jazz. My skin was dewy with that indefinable afterglow. A knowing smile was a permanent fixture on my face with no sign of vacating anytime soon. I once again felt my center of gravity. I felt soft, feminine yet extraordinarily powerful. Everything looked brighter and I moved through my daily tasks with relative ease. And men noticed me once more…or was it me who noticed them?

Today, I'm writing this from my home, from the same slouchy couch where I felt so lost just a year ago.

The difference? Me, the men I've embraced and the miles I've travelled since. I truly believe that a clear purpose propelled me to move through the immense fear and confusion. I used this experience to face my seemingly insurmountable self-doubt. I wouldn't say that I'm quite whole just yet, but I have taken a quantum leap towards it. 

I feel such pride in the heart-centred service Anna and I have worked so hard to create for women to safely journey through what I now understand to be a modern day rite-of-passage.

Image Dear Aphrodite

"Please let’s not place an ignorant cultural taboo on celebrating sexiness in all it’s forms and please let’s broaden our appreciation for all that we men and women are. Let’s become fascinated with each other, immersing ourselves deeply in all our qualities, mutual and diverse. When we do this, we WE OURSELVES open up our excitements and fascinations, the covers of all the magazines will change and the occasional wolf-whistle in the street might even be welcomed."
-Jamie Catto

***

The team at Aphrodisiac male escorts have been working their butts off updating our website. Please check it out. We’d love your feedback. 

Keep update between blogs on our  Tumblr and facebook pages.

Dear Aphrodite - For the wild woman at heart.

Passions of Aphrodite – Fan Page, not linked to the business. Safe to share amongst your friends. 

Did Regina's story move you? Let her know how you feel. Use the comments below or send an email to info@sageforwomen.com 

Getting back to you. How to fall in love with yourself.

Remember when you were a teenager and being called a 'love me do' was as shameful as being labelled a slut. Now there are over 161 million web pages trying to teach people how to love themselves and 'anti slut shaming,' has become a movement. 

Carol Rossetti

Women being made to feel inferior or guilty about their femininity or sexual behaviour is becoming a thing of the past. We aren't there yet. Empowering women is a long and unfinished battle. 

Have you ever stopped yourself wearing something or doing someone thing because of what others might think? Do you ever feel judged on first impression or belittled for your preferences and behaviour?

We have all sat on both sides of this fence. Healing this paradox of mass proportion lies within a time honoured belief. In order to love others we must first learn to love ourselves.

Imagine falling in love with someone. Now think about all of the things you would naturally experience and do for them? Then apply those same principles to yourself. 

Rather than treating others how you want to be treated, try treating yourself as well as you would treat a new or potential lover.

The key to falling in love with yourself is to become interested in yourself.

Find out what makes you tick, listen to your favourite music, visit your favourite places. Discover what lies behind the image in the mirror. 

Think about your interests, passions and accomplishments.
Getting to know someone (including yourself) can be a long process. 

When we fall in love we avoid being critical, even imperfections are perfect. Learn to appreciate yourself, including your flaws. When did you stop telling yourself the truth?

Carol Rossetti

Love, like water is the strongest most powerful thing in the world - it is also the softest.

The hardest and most important part of any relationship is building trust. How do we learn to trust others, or that we wont hurt ourselves? 

One of the clues to building trust is in the language. It doesn't come overnight, it needs to be built. We trust a bit, see that it is warranted, and then trust a little bit more. 

When we learn to trust our own natural processes, we get back to ourselves and whatever is important to us will begin to fall into place.

Whether you are married, recently single or have been celibate for decades we all have access to the knowledge it takes to find ourselves again. It lies within us all - now we can even search for it on some of the millions pages other people have written about it.

Carol Rosetti

Many of the clients at Aphrodisiac Male Escorts have written testimonials addressing the positive, long and short term, benefits of getting to know themselves better by embracing their own sexuality. 

For many women starting the journey from mourning their femininity to embracing it, again or for the first time, can be overwhelming. The power of pleasure changes everything. 

Anxiety becomes exhilaration. No more hiding the truth from themselves, lies or denying desire. They feel as if they have entered the express lane to personal development.

Check out the testimonials page for some fascinating stories from several clients. Dear Aphrodite's pick of the month is

 "...I guess this service can mean different things for different women. It’s given me the confidence and desire to start living again!"

In part 2 of The Sensuality podcast below. Anthony, one of the gentleman at Aphrodisiac Male Escorts, discusses how seeing a professional and mindful escort is a stepping stone or bridge for many women towards finding themselves again. 

Lotus Kruse has written a post about the female - centric soul after she was given a caution by a close friend. In it she describes a list of experiences that have made her female-centric, and why she honours it. You can also read about how Sandra Dee from the movie Grease taught her a few lessons on how to break out of your comfort zone and empower yourself.

One of Dear Aphrodite's goals is to create a network of women that empower women. Exposure is a necessary part of networking so recently Anna and Regina broke out of their comfort zone and went to three events to introduce Aphrodisiac Male Escorts to some of Melbourne's most powerful women. 

First was a charity event for a wonderful organisation the 
McAuley Community Services for Women. We heard first hand accounts from women who have survived domestic violence. We've heard many similar stories from our own clients.

Carol Rossetti

The Bayside Business in heels event showed that a male escort service exclusive to women will be well received by women from all walks of life. Anna and Regina were amazed at how many women were excited and supportive of Aphrodisiac Male Escorts.  

The speed-dating style introductions were super cool. Anna and Regina were inundated with questions and connections. Some of the women were asking for more than one card. 

Even if we don't personally need a push to embrace our own power, it seems many of us know a woman that does.

Carol Rossetti

Finally we were thrilled to meet and hear Lisa Messenger, founder and editor-in-chief of Collective Hub, speaking at the Melbourne Business in Heels event. 

In a world of "gonna's" Lisa Messenger is a doer and we are completely head over heels in awe of her. She is a power house and has a score of impressive achievements that consistently challenge the status quo. A woman that is leading the battle of empowerment. We hope to feature an article with her in the coming months.

This months feature companion Erica has also bought forth a burst of new ideas. Dear Aphrodite is dreaming of world where all men are the type of lovers that would be hired by Aphrodisiac Male Escorts. Erica would be the woman to teach them.

Carol Rossetti

Erica is a confident, experienced and playful temptress. If you're wanting to explore more freedom or are feeling unsatisfied in your relationship she can heighten your sexual experiences. 

She is available for women and couples alike. She will make first timers feel at ease, and though she may leave you wanting for more she will satisfy all of your needs.

All of the images on this months post are by the graphic designer Carol Rosetti. Carol's album title WOMEN - in English "as both a reminder and affirmation of women's bodily autonomy." Connect with Carol on her on facebook page.

Part of the journey of getting back to you includes being in touch with your body. Carols artwork is based on her own and other women's real life experiences. 

Carol Rossetti

 


If you are looking for a laugh this month, check out Liz Miele's comedy sketch retaliating to jokes about sexual positions that degrade women or mess up her hair. She has three new sex position jokes for women. Whats your favourite? Dear Aphrodite loves all three.




Check out Lisa Miele's full 8 minute gig here.

Do you have an opinion or question about how to get back to you? Use the comments section below to ask Dear Aphrodite anything you like. If you'd rather be less public email your questions with Dear Aphrodite in the subject line, and we'll post the answer in the next post.

If it's much more personal and you prefer to speak to someone you can trust, give Anna and Regina a call on 1300 132 855.  Discretion is guaranteed.

Next month we are going to follow on with the journey of self love, and try and get women talking about the kind of lovers they really want, and how to get them. 

In the meantime our Tumblr page should keep your imagination entertained or click the links below to join one of our Facebook groups.

Dear Aphrodite - For the wild woman at heart.

Passions of Aphrodite – Fan Page, not linked to the business. Safe to share amongst your friends. 

Check out the Aphrodisiac Male Escorts website for more testimonials, our companion's profiles, products and services (including fantasy island.)  

Email: info@sageforwomen.com

Phone: 1300 132 855